Body image during menopause: You are my hero, Nadja Auermann!

That would be nice! I don't mean that ironically. I would really like it if I could get used to my new silhouette . I have very mixed feelings about this topic. On the one hand, I have a big heart for women who don't have ideal measurements and it annoys me immensely when they are discriminated against because of it. On the other hand, I'm very good at shaming my own body. So it's complicated.

"You're 50 now, you can be a little fatter."

Nadja Auermann, long-legged supermodel of the 1990s , gave an interview in which she not only nonchalantly reached for her fan because of hot flushes, but also caused a stir with the sentence: "I said to myself: you're 50 now, you can be a bit fatter." I want to kiss her for that message! Or at least celebrate, I don't know her personally.

What I find so remarkable about this attitude is that the woman has achieved world fame in an industry where only extremely slim bodies count . We remember: Back then, heroin chic was en vogue for the first time. That leaves a mark! In an interview with RTL, she admits that she was initially unsettled when her figure changed: "Many people have a certain image of the supermodels of the 90s in their heads that they have to conform to. I then realise that I am also a little damaged by always wanting to be perfect." But then she doesn't go under the scalpel or have a liposuction machine like many others, but stands by the fact that she is now the way she is.

Linda Evangelista, a fellow US supermodel from that time, chose the other path. A few years ago she made it public that a Coolsculpting treatment, which was supposed to freeze away her fat cells, had the opposite effect and instead made them grow. She now looked "monstrous". Her choice of words at the time completely disgusted me and I wanted to shout to her: "Now you see what it's like when you happen not to conform to the stupid ideal of beauty that currently prevails in the western world" (which is partly genetic, so it's a matter of luck).

But I forgive her. Because when it comes to dealing with my own body image, I'm more Linda and less Nadja . Even if I don't like it.

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The new format comes at an inconvenient time

Here are the facts: With the onset of menopause , when sex hormones begin to fluctuate, the distribution of fat shifts towards the middle of the body. Figuratively speaking, the pear-shaped figure with hips and bottom turns into an apple-shaped one with the stomach at the front . In addition, the overall body fat percentage increases.

This also happens if you eat reasonably well, as you did in previous years, and have not started eating uncontrollably. This general weight gain during menopause is simply due to the fact that the basal metabolic rate is now falling, i.e. the amount of calories the body needs at rest to function (for breathing, digestion, heartbeat, etc.). This is related to the age-related loss of muscle mass and a slowing metabolism.

If I don't want to gain weight, I first have to eat less and secondly exercise more in order to counteract this with an increased energy expenditure (here you can find out more about the right diet during the menopause ). That sounds easier than it is. Because nobody tells you that in time! That means I should have started changing my lifestyle a long time ago, before I suddenly miss my waist and need one or two dress sizes larger.

Women and their distorted body image

I know the saying from my family: "At a certain age, women have to decide whether to become a goat or a cow." I always found both options unattractive, but even as a child I understood that cows are fat and comfortable, goats are not, but they are bitchy. And that something along those lines is coming my way.

Another lesson I learned early on: attempts to lose weight are commendable and are supported. That was certainly well-intentioned, but this "diet mentality", as psychological psychotherapist Dr. Julia Tanck puts it in an episode of the BRIGITTE podcast MENO AN MICH , is something that many women have internalized. We practically grew up with it. That's why I'm pretty good at "fat talk" - an unreflective habit of talking to friends, albeit with a touch of humor, about one's own physical inadequacies and various rolls of fat relatively mercilessly . Until I heard the term "fat talk" for the first time, I never questioned this self-deprecating behavior.

If others are discriminated against because of their figure, I immediately take to the barricades. Pronova BKK recently published a representative survey on the topic of vacation and beauty ideals. According to the survey, 43 percent of under-30s believe that "overweight people should not show themselves in swimwear." This brings tears of anger and indignation to my eyes. If we think about it further, that would mean that access to the beach and outdoor pool would only be for slim people, after they have passed an appearance test? Degrading!

Despite all the body positivity efforts, society just can't get the ideal of beauty out of its head, according to which only a slim body is a presentable body . The result: 75 percent of the women surveyed try to hide parts of their body that they don't like as best as possible, out of shame. Sad. I also don't find some of the tattoos that I see beautiful or aesthetic. Am I asking these people to cover themselves? Of course not!

eating disorders in midlife

The figures that Dr. Tanck provides in the podcast show how relevant the topic is: Statistically speaking, women around 50 have just as high a risk of developing eating disorders as those in puberty - a phase that, like menopause, is characterized by hormonal changes and fluctuations. "25 to 35 percent of patients in outpatient and inpatient treatment for eating disorders are over 45 years old," says the expert. "It is a prejudice that only girls and young women are affected. We have a second peak in the disease among women between 45 and 54."

Please note: This does not mean that every person who feels uncomfortable in their body automatically has an eating disorder. Sometimes it is "just" a negative body image, a distorted perception that comes to the fore - in technical terms: body image disorder. Dr. Julia Tanck: "There are studies that show that even women who do not suffer from an eating disorder do not assess their bodies realistically. Even with healthy women, we tend to overestimate body dimensions ." I felt caught out when I said that sentence. Because I often hear "You're not fat!" and then secretly feel totally misunderstood because I see something different in the mirror or in photos.

Satisfied with one's own self

And that's why I'm now taking Nadja Auermann as a role model. She's put on weight. She didn't like that. But she accepts herself the way she is . If she can do it as a former model, then I can do it as a non-model too. What will help me is getting older! Because Dr. Tanck also told me about an online study at the University of Osnabrück on changes in body satisfaction over the lifespan. It came to the conclusion - not surprisingly - that women are generally less satisfied with their bodies and that appearance is more important to them than to men. But what also became clear is that the topic becomes less and less important with age. So I'll be able to appreciate my body more in the future. That will be great.

Brigitte

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