Nicolas Demorand opens up about his bipolar disorder: "There is shame and suspicion surrounding mental illness."

"I was ashamed." Nicolas Demorand repeated this on the Grandes Gueules radio station on Monday. The France Inter journalist was "ashamed" of suffering from bipolar disorder . But he managed to overcome it to write a poignant account in his book Intérieur nuit ( Babelio ) . In it, he explains that he is "type 2 bipolar" and recounts his entire journey as a "mentally ill person."

"A bipolar person is someone whose mood fluctuates very strongly and regularly. It's a yo-yo," Nicolas Demorand explains on RMC . This illness causes those affected to experience "phases of euphoria" and "phases of depression," which can be extreme on either side.

By confiding in his book, the presenter of the France Inter morning show wanted to "claim" his status as bipolar, as "mentally ill": "It's not an insult, it's something I wanted to claim because it's the truth and this truth is impossible to say or hear today in France."

"There is shame and suspicion surrounding mental illness," he emphasizes.

Nicolas Demorand speaks of a "perpetual lie that is very difficult to bear." His story allowed him to escape it. "I wrote this book for myself first, because something that was suffocating me needed to come out and be expressed," he confides. The journalist sometimes felt like he was "a hypochondriac."

This poor self-image he felt is partly explained by the misconceptions society holds about bipolar people. Prejudices about the causes of this illness place the blame on patients, when this is not the case. Several biological, psychological, and social factors can contribute to its onset.

Nicolas Demorand also wrote his book for others. For others, because bipolar patients are diagnosed very late. On average, after 9 years, according to Public Health France . He received a diagnosis 8 years ago. There was "no doubt," but it was "hard to swallow."

"It's an illness from which there's no cure. It's an illness that follows you, harasses you, robs you of a part of yourself, and requires you to take medication for life," Nicolas Demorand says coldly.

The journalist tried everything for years. He recalls a very complicated life before the diagnosis, accompanied by "pure suffering." "When you're not diagnosed, you're not given the right medication," he explains. When he went to his GP with signs of depression, the doctor prescribed drugs that worsened his bipolar disorder, making him even more euphoric during his "highs."

These periods of euphoria are difficult to explain and can be difficult to understand for people who are not affected by this illness. Nicolas Demorand describes it as a "feeling of overpowering." "You speak faster and faster, you think quickly, you can have 10,000 projects going at once. You spend money, you consume alcohol. You have a toxic relationship with excess. That's the manic phase," the journalist describes.

The alternation between high and low phases is often difficult for patients to manage, since they often occur very quickly and in large proportions. "Whether in terms of love life or family life, it's extremely difficult because you have a person whose face changes very quickly. You pivot from one phase to another, sometimes in a matter of hours, and at that point, the people who live with you ask themselves, 'but who is this person?'" says Nicolas Demorand.

"The bipolar person talks about himself, but he doesn't see the damage he causes around him."

Faced with the failure of general practitioners, Nicolas Demorand turned to "psychoanalysts," who also "didn't work." These medical errors resulted in "we suffer, we still aren't treated." A situation that may have provoked suicidal thoughts in him:

"You tell yourself in your pain-twisted brain, 'I'm going to kill myself to stop suffering.' It's not that I don't want to live, it's that I can't stand the pain anymore," he admits.

For Nicolas Demorand, the solution came from Sainte-Anne Hospital, a mental health clinic in Paris. Today, he takes his "daily handful of medications," about ten, and is feeling better, but "continues to have mood swings."

His treatment provides him with stability, which he says is essential for treating bipolar disorder. "Lifestyle is another form of stability," he adds. A morning show host on France Inter radio, his job is "the most extreme definition of stability." Everything is "very structured" and organized "down to the minute."

"I define radio as my exoskeleton, like a robot that supports me and is there to compensate for all my shortcomings and weaknesses," he sums up.

Many patients suffering from bipolar disorder are in the same situation. A nursing home assistant, Françoise confided on RMC that she is also "holding up" thanks to her job and the "responsibilities" it gives her. Diagnosed at 61, just a year ago, she was "relieved" by the diagnosis. "I understood a lot of things that had happened in my life. The problem is making those around me understand. It doesn't excuse, but it explains," she confesses.

Jean-Baptiste, too, had to wait many years for a diagnosis. "I was diagnosed at 42, two years ago. It changed my life," he revealed to GG. A real relief for him, who experienced "phases of euphoria and depression ten times a day" in "a very tiring life."

Today, one in 150 adults worldwide lives with bipolar disorder. The World Health Organization ranks it as the sixth leading cause of disability worldwide.

In France, Michel Barnier declared in October, while he was still Prime Minister, that he wanted to make "mental health the 'Great National Cause of 2025'." But for the moment, this desire is difficult to verify, according to Nicolas Demorand: "We're halfway through the year, I don't know if you've seen anything, but I haven't."

However, associations and programs exist in France for people suffering from psychological disorders. The Mon Soutien psy program allows anyone, from the age of 3, with mild to moderate psychological disorders to benefit from 12 psychological support sessions per year, 60% of which are covered by health insurance.